Is this thing working?
Jimmy…? You still there…?
Okay, good! For a second I thought this bloody thing had died!
So, ladies and germs, NonParallel Lines is now up and running. No, there’s nobody here named Jimmy. And yes, I know that “NonParallel” is not a word; but who really cares, right? This is a blog aimed at the Pursuit of Self-Creation, I’m not quite sure what that is right now, but all I can say is I’m pretty damn psyched about having something to occupy my free-time now. I’m going to have a lot of that from now on, seeing as I just dropped out of engineering college yesterday. As I write this, it’s the first day of the finals, and my (ex-) classmates are sitting there sweating their asses off and trying to remember what the hell they had studied. As for me? I’m sitting here with a cup of coffee in my boxer shorts listening to some deadmau5 while my kidneys are going into spasm.
You probably think I’m crazy, and I don’t blame you. Dropping out of engineering college? What am I, fucking insane? No, not really. To be completely honest, I’m a retard at math (at best a retard, at worst a rock – hey, they don’t have any brains, kid), and considering all my subjects and the field itself are packed full of it… You get where I’m going. Sure, I could try to study harder and what-not, but guess what? I tried that, and to no avail. I am just not built to be a mechatronic engineer.
I started this blog, actually, to get a better feel for my real passion in life – journalism. However, getting to this point wasn’t easy. I had to go through numerous hurdles, most of them involving my caretakers (i.e. parents) who wanted with all their fragile little hearts for me to become an engineer. They said it paid good, I didn’t disagree. They said it was a guaranteed job, I didn’t disagree. They said I could do it if I really tried, and I believed them. The only problem was, did I want to?
I pictured myself twenty years down the line, coming home with no enthusiasm and no life force left in my body, carrying a bundle of work that I had to finish. It was a vision of high school all over again. I saw my wife miserable because of my misery, I saw our five year old son with no lust for life having seen his father suffering day-in and day-out. I saw myself as a chronic drinker and smoker, a man living only on dreams of his pension. But when that time came, what will I have done with my life? It was then that the realization hit me: I couldn’t be an engineer if I didn’t want to, if I had no passion for it at all, if cars or motors or machinery in general didn’t interest me.
I couldn’t do what others had planned out for me, the fate they had thrust upon me.
I laid in my bed on Tuesday night, with a decision in front of me. I was at a fork in the road, and one side held riches and job-security, but no enjoyment. The other? Odds beyond belief, a job in a shrinking market and no grand salary to work for, but goddamnit there was so much passion down that road that I couldn’t possibly turn my back on it.
So there’s that, my not-too-distant past that led me up until the creation of this blog. So this is my new little piece of joy in my life, and of course I’ll be getting a job soon (hope to become a librarian – or, wait, that’s a feminine word; what’s the male equivalent?), but this is going to be what lets me vent and come to terms with my life and the decisions I am faced with daily regarding my own Created Fate. I hope I can help you come to terms with yours, too.
NonParallel Lines is a blog aimed at self-creation, that is: not finding yourself (we were not predestined to be anything), but envisioning what you want to be and working towards becoming that person.
It’s the Pursuit of Happiness in its most basic form.